The NFL Draft: Oh My God, It's Nineteen Hours Away

Well look what's less than nineteen hours away? The NFL draft. After nearly three months of having to watch McShay and Kiper its about fucking time. Speaking of which, we have a suicide warning: Mel Kiper jr. may kill himself.... soon. It used to be just his show, the lone wolf to battle hours and days of mock drafts, all-day draft coverage, and lone segments, but now Kiper must try to claw tooth-n-nail for his meal ticket as the newer, younger, and better looking Todd McShay has whittled into his air time growing from a young cub into a strong lion. (Sorry, watched A LOT of Planet Earth and Life yesterday, thank you Discovery channel)
Anyway, the NFL draft is where teams become champions. There is no formula, there is no reason. And how either Kiper and McShay keep their jobs each year I have no idea. Their job is like being an expert for March Madness, anyones guess could be right. Shit if Darrius Heyward-Bey could get drafted in the top ten above Crabtree, anything could happen. But like the Madness, we have one long trek ahead of us.

Thats Right.... WE HAVE THREE DAYS. Now as much as I want to be excited, considering I've watched an entire draft (no, I'm not proud I'm seeking counseling), its just too much. There's way too much hype for an event that 99% of people don't care to watch after say round two, maybe late one when their team finishes their pick. And now for the first time, prime time coverage Thursday and Friday night. To me this is a damn travesty. The NFL is in its off season, were in the thick of the NBA and NHL playoffs, and they expect us to drop everything. Is the NFL fucking serious, nobody gives a shit about rounds 3-7. The NFL is just a money hungry whore. What happened to the gold ole' days aka '88-'94 Sunday/Monday event or '95-'09 Saturday/Sunday(Funday) event where it was a nacho and wings man fest. Now its all about the NFL extending and squeezing every dollar out of the event, and its wrong. As much as I am excited about all the trade rumors and moves that could shape the landscape of next years season, I would rather watch live games that will determine what I spend hours each night watching for the month. Instead, I have to make a choice, to put my teams in order of who I care for more. Will my football team get that player we covet like Tom Hanks loved Wilson, or will I watch the next star of the NBA or NHL dominate a game by draining a dagger from deep, or netting a power play goal to end it. Its just selfish, and simply disappointing. Goodell, you should be suspended or fined for violating Man's personal conduct policy.

NOTE TO THE NFL: Please remember as much as we love you, and we do, know your Fucking place and allow us to be with other sports. I and many others WANT to watch the Durantchula, the Akron Hammer, unfortunately the Black Mamba, and all that is the NBA, as well as Ovechkin, unfortunately Crosby, and the rest of the NHL. Although I could wait until the second half to care about and NBA game (though usually do not) the athleticism in the NBA is mind bottling. And seriously, nothing is more exciting than OT playoff hockey, God can only know how any any sports fan wouldn't love the intensity and beards of the NHL. Please allow us to do so.

Roethlisberger's New Nike Ad

Credit to Sportspickle.

Earl Woods's Life After Death Recordings

Installment #1 of how many?


Earl Woods: "Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I wanna find out what your feelings are. And did you learn anything?"
Tiger Woods: "Yes, Dad. I learned a lot. I won't act the way I used to. I won't get caught again either."
Earl: "What are you talking about? I want to know why you missed that put on the 14th hole and why you chose to use the club you did on the 17th?"
Tiger: "O ya about that, I'm not sure, but I was trying to get a good quote out of you for use in a Nike commercial in a couple years."
Earl: "Why would you need that? Just keep copying Michael Jordan commercials, let Nike do their thing, and play well and you'll have good commercials."
Tiger: "Yea, well, just be happy you won't be around in a few years to see what's going to go down."
Earl: "Damnit Eldrick, you better win the Masters if you're going to change the world."

I'm glad you and Nike figured out a way to profit from the scandal Tiger.

Late Night NBA Thoughts

Jumping in a little late here, but have been watching games all night. Aaron Brooks' 3 to send the Celts/Rockets game into overtime was nice, but not as nice as watching the Celtics age faster and uglier than uncovered guacamole.

The Hawks looked like they were going to keep it close against the LeBron's, but King James decided to take over the second half and steered the Cavs to a 5 point win.

Kobe looked like his mind might be filled with dollar signs, as hes 4-15 from the field and 0-4 from deep at halftime. However, his teammates picked up the slack, with a 33 point first quarter, and the Lakers lead the Jazz by 9 at the half.

Let's just not discuss the Knicks.

Enough intro, let's jump into the game.

11:39 - Jeff Van Gundy after a no-call on Ron Artest: "I'm not going to call the offensive foul there. Artest blocked and flopped, he's a horrible actor."

Not the worst Lakers actor ever though....and far from the best.

11:53 - I thank God every time I see the Captain Morgan's "reverse ventriloquist act" commercial and am not intoxicated.

11:58 - Bill Walker with three 25+ foot three pointers and a layup in 2 minutes to bring the Knicks within 6. Oracle Arena crowd still on life support.

12:02 - Lee pulls the Knicks within 2, Warriors fans begin to realize there is a game going on.

12:08 - Can David Stern please order Gregg Popovich and Phil Jackson to make a facial hair swap? They just don't look right.

12:10 - Bennie and the Jets should be banned from all sporting events unless you're the Jets or last name is Agbayani.

12:15 - Just realized that the green headbands and other accessories present tonight were for some NBA recycling initiative. Good to see the Knicks participating by getting Tmac his minutes...too bad he repaid them with another knee injury.

12:25 - Apparently Deron Williams stayed at John Stockton's house while he was a rookie. I wonder if there was a curfew.

12:30 - How long can commercials like FreeCreditReport and EducationConnection run with different url's every time before people realize they're scams? How the fuck do these "companies" even have enough money to advertise on TV, are there that many people that are that stupid?

12:35 - After being down 19 in the first quarter, the Jazz pull to within 9 after three quarters. Let's see if they can make this a game.

12:39 - You know how sometimes moderately attractive girls will hang out with ugly girls to make themselves look/feel better? Do you think that's how Jack decides who sits courtside with him?

12:53 - Lakers up by 19 with 6 to go, I've had enough basketball for tonight...and to think, there's still 2.5 month left! I can not fucking wait for baseball to start.