Why No One Cares Or Ever Will

As we all are waiting in anticipation for the Men's Final Four (mainly for Duke to lose), the NIT and Women's NCAA tournament are underway. The sad thing is though, we are no doubt more interested in a miserable UNC team v. URI or Dayton v. Ole Miss than any Women's NCAA game. But why? To start, we all know the level of play is just not the same. We do not care about weak layups and spot up threes with a miniature ball, all we want are huge dunks and fast, athletic play. Also, if I hear any more talk about how the UCONN women are so good, I will kill myself. How is anything they are doing interesting? They are blowing out 3 seeds like FSU by 40 in the Elite Eight. Seriously, when the fuck are they just going to make it a 16 team tournament? The games just have ZERO relevance. No joke, the UCONN women's team may have not won a game by less than double digits in a fucking decade. That is not exciting, nor does it make the game worth watching. The parity in women's sports is just not the same, and because of that we will never care about it. In women's sports we watch the same teams dominate every year, and there are no upsets, just bland boring layups. On another note, everyone needs to stop talking about this freshman from Baylor, Brittney Griner. One, she sounds like a dude, and two if you want to be treated and have the same respect as the men, get punished like one. This girl threw a haymaker earlier this year connecting on Texas Tech's Jordan Barncastle, and what did she get? Two measly games. This is a travesty. If Oregon's LeGarrette Blount nearly got a full season in football where the games actually matter each week, how could Griner only get two games. Now I know, everything I say will come off sexist for knocking the women's game, but it just is unbearable to watch, even ask any girl, she will agree. Although some may argue that women's basketball is the purest form of the game out there, and that they play the game the way it is supposed to be played: below the rim, more team oriented and less one-on-one, no one cares or will remember Maya Moore in 5-10 years. Come'on, people wouldn't know who Cheryl Miller was if it wasn't for Reggie and her annoying as hell sideline reporting in NBA 2k10. Which brings me to my last point. We all know who Candace Parker is, dominant player for Pat Summit and the Vols, current WNBA player for the LA Sparks, wife to possibly the ugliest and most retarded Dookie ever, Sheldon Williams, well she has the rare distinction of being the only women to ever win the McDonald's All-American dunk contest. How might you ask, a weak half-assed attempt covering her eyes trying to replicate Dee Brown's 1991 NBA dunk contest winner. Yet who did she rob the title from, JR Smith (Nuggets) and Josh Smith (Hawks) both ridiculous dunkers. I doubt she would have beaten either one of them if they lost both legs. Now I do not mean to be harsh in any way, I just want to bring the facts to every one's attention. To be witnesses of the truth and see the evidence of why no one cares and no one will ever care if the UCONN women tie or break UCLA and Coach Wooden's incredible win streak of 88 games.

Betting on the Sweet 16

The fact that UCLA is not in the tournament makes this picture no less appropriate.

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Spread-Favorite(Avg PPG)(Moneyline)- Underdog(Avg PPG)(Moneyline)- Total
6 - Syracuse (81.6) (-270) vs Butler (69.8) (+230) - 138.5
4 - West Virginia (72.9) (-190) vs Washington (79.9) (+165) - 142
4.5 - Kansas State (79.8) (-220) vs Xavier (79.3) (+180) - 153.5
8.5 - Kentucky (80.1) (-500) vs Cornell (75.8) (+400) - 147
4.5 - Ohio State (74.1) (-210) vs Tennessee (73.6) (+175) - 134
4.5 - Baylor (77.3) (-200) vs St. Mary's (79.4) (+170) -145
1 - Michigan State (72.9) (N/A) vs Northern Iowa (63.6) (N/A) - 121
8 - Duke (77.6) (-410) vs Purdue (70.9) (+325) - 129.5

• If you like Cornell, bet early. The line started high and is falling as we speak. The public is jumping on Cornell's bandwagon. Most expect Kentucky to win this game and Cornell to cover.

• The WVU line will change tomorrow with news of Darryl "Truck" Byrant's broken foot and for good reason. Many have pointed to WVU not having a great true point guard and now they'll be saying even more about that. But as the folks at Basketball Prospectus have mentioned, it hasn't affected WVU and they control the ball well. If you still believe WVU will stay true to that, then wait because the line is going to shrink.

• Yes, Kalin Lucas is definitely out and yes, that matters. You decide how much it matters: the guys making the lines have thought about this, and you're not tricking them.

• Don't try to tease anything. If you don't like the spread, then take the moneyline. Play single games by themselves.

For stats: statsheet.com/mcb
For betting line trends: covers.com

What my choices are right now:

1. Syracuse is going to the next round, not sure about 'Cuse -6 although they have been shooting light out. Go with a moneyline bet for now in case the spread gets larger, but if the spread gets smaller feel free to double down on this one, Butler can keep it close, but I do not think they can match up with the athleticism or break Boeheim's 2-3 zone.
   
2. WVU with the spread, but wait for the spread to go down some because of the injury. Take the points with Cornell (or the moneyline) just to make watching the game more fun (No don't do that, that's a bad reason to make a bet).
3. I don't know which way the OSU-Tenn line will go, but I like OSU to win, although they may have trouble covering. This WILL be a tough game, as Tennessee is the only team in the country to beat both Kentucky and Kansas this year, and "The Villian" E. Turner has not been shooting well. I see Jon Diebler steping up again, as he and Turner keep Ohio State's season alive.
   
4. Tom Izzo has a week to figure out how to gather his team without Kalin Lucas. Will that be enough?
5. Duke looks to advance and so the line will probably increase as the country believes that.
6. Take Baylor with the line, or if you really want take the -4.5. Everyone is loving Omar "the Sandman" Sanham and his Aussie teammates from St. Mary's. But the game will be played in Houston, essentially a home game for the Baylor Bears. Also, when a team has long, athletic guards like LaceDarious Dunn, Quinncy Acy, and speedster Tweety Carter, and a dominant presence down low in Ekpe Udoh its hard to pick against them and even harder to pick who has a better name. This team can do damage and pose the biggest challenge to Coach Rat(K) and his band of babies.
   

What bets are you making? Put it in the comments.

The road to recovery is through imagination

As Ford and myself are ardent Terps fans, we had our hearts ripped out today. However bad the loss at the buzzer may have stung we are still proud- much like William Wallace in his final minutes. This year's Maryland Terrapin basketball team was just that, a team. Led by the ACC's POY, Greivis "Mr. GQ" Vasquez, COY Gary Williams knew he had a man he trusted and loved to lead this team. As can be expected, the dagger today left us stunned as we sat silent and motionless, in complete awe of what just occurred to our team. As we were lucky enough to witness the Cliff Tucker buzzer beater in person earlier this year, to be on the other side of the fence was just plain awful. None-the-less, we have found the words to truly represent the road we will take to recovery:

The way I've started to recover is imagining the healing process:

Jordan Williams has a sensational junior year, makes a few All-American teams, and is widely expected to go pro. But he doesn’t. “I have a score to settle,” he says in the press conference announcing his return. Quinn Cook and Mikael Hopkins are sophomores at the time, and Pe’Shon Howard and Terrell Stoglin are juniors.

Maryland has a trademark up and down season, but earns a 3 seed. Jordan wins ACC player of the year. In the second round, they meet six seed Michigan State. Jordan Williams goes for 23 and 19 in an easy win. After easily dispatching a random 2 seed, the Terps meet Duke in the Elite Eight and win in a nailbiter.

The first game in the Final Four, which is in Washington, D.C., is against John Calipari’s Oregon Ducks (it is discovered that John Wall received money directly from Calipari’s bank account, but Nike paid him a heavy sum to coach Oregon before the scandal was discovered). Terrence Ross happens to be the Ducks’ starting SG. Pe’Shon Howard has 23 points that day, and posterized Ross on a fastbreak dunk. Meanwhile, TRoss doesn’t score in Maryland’s 15 point win.

Then they play UCONN and Jim Calhoun, Gary’s mortal enemy, in the championship. Williams has 17, Howard 14, and Cook 12 and 11 assists. Maryland wins on a last second shot by Stoglin falling away. Williams and Williams hug at center court, tears streaming from both’s eyes, finding redemption. Greivis Vasquez, who was named an honorary assistant coach for the game, runs onto the court, playing the part of Jim Valvano, looking for someone to hug.

After the game, Gary announces his retirement. Maryland fans recognize him as one of the greatest coaches ever, and he is inducted into the Hall of Fame the following year. Rob Ehsan is named head coach. Calhoun retires a week later, and everyone knows that in the final battle of Good vs. Evil, Good won.

- Ben Broman

March Madness Day 4 Live Blog

March Madness 2010, Day 3, Running Diary

1:09 - The Sandman, #50 for the Gaels, looks like he's going to cause problems for Nova today...

1:12 - A well coached, mostly white team from the WCC who can shoot the lights out...Hmm I think we've seen this one before (NF)

1:14 - Announcers stunned that Sandman wasn't called for over the back, but I'm pretty sure Nova used up all of their officiating karma on Thursday (BZ)

1:34 - If St. Mary's were to win it all, what's the Aussie equivalent of Disney World? (BZ)

1:43 - Say what you will about Jay Wright but he can wear a suit with the best of them (NF)

1:49 - If Gary Williams were coaching Nova right now, what's the over/under on number of suits he's sweated through at this point? 3.5? (BZ)

1:52 - St Mary's is window shopping the glass slipper right now at Tiffany's... (NF)

1:55 - Coke Zero has it right, scientists need to step up and invent cloning. Not for dealing with chatty girlfriends, but so that we can have Gus Johnson announce as many games as possible. (BZ)

2:01- We can all see that coach Jay Wright looks as cool as a cucumber in his Armani suit, but the over/under is 2.5 chair throws + "come on they're St. Mary's" in the Villa-no-fun locker room during halftime (DW)

2:06 - How fitting that CBS plays TI during the Kentucky montage, im sure Demarcus Cousins has firearms hidden somewhere in his possession. (CL)

2:18 - If Hasbro ever decides to make a Mr. Tomato Head, Verne is available for modeling work. (BZ)

2:24 - Jay Wright's battle cry at this point, "Are you going to let Crocodile Dundee beat you?" (CL)

3:00- Mrs. Sandman has already bought her tickets to Houston. (MC)

3:04 - This time out sponsored by Windex. (BZ)

3:14 - That's not a dagger...THIS is a dagger! (BZ)

3:16 - And the Foster's is flowing at the Opera House! (BZ)

Dude, what the fuck is that shit on your neck?

Shouldn't Houston be called for having six men on the court? Houston shooting guard Aubrey Coleman has the remnants of his unborn twin protruding from his neck and it's fucking disgusting. Did Gary Williams spend half of his pregame speech giving the Terps tips on how not to go Donovan McNabb all over the Spokane Veteran's Memorial Arena? Who knows, maybe it's the source of power that allowed him to become the country's leading scorer... All I know is, if I'm a Maryland player, winning is a secondary goal for me....I just don't want any part of me to fucking brush against that abomination.